Posts Tagged ‘relationships’
The Everyday Narcissist Revisited
Have you ever been in a situation where you have met a total stranger who has then proceeded to tell you their whole life story with no prompting from you? Perhaps you have a friend who is guilty of this too?
Joseph Burgo author of AfterPsychotherapy.com tells of an encounter with an hostess of a restaurant when out with a friend for his birthday. They hardly got a word in edgeways, the waitress talked right over them and elicited no interest about the birthday celebration, but just right on talking and talking!
Joseph describes this woman as a run-of -the-mill narcissist, a self absorbed person. The therapist in him looks at the reasons behind her behaviour but he also reflects that if she had got past her narcissist need for attention she may have found that she had a lot in common with his friend! An opportunity missed; just for a fix of attention.
Parents’ Yelling Is as Harmful as Hitting.
A recent american study of nearly a thousand families has found that parents who shout at their adolescent children for misbehaving can cause some of the same problems as hitting them would, including increased risk of depression and aggressive behaviour.
The study found that although parents thought that yelling at their teenagers would get them to listen and behave, the opposite was actually found to be true and it even made the behaviour worse in some cases. The closeness of the relationship between parent and child also did not seem to negate the effect of shouting at the teenager.
Dr Wang co-author on the study explains why shouting is so detrimental to young teenagers: “Adolescence is a very sensitive period when [kids] are trying to develop their self-identities. When you yell, it hurts their self image. It makes them feel they are not capable, that they are worthless and are useless.”
Parents’ Yelling Is as Harmful as Hitting, Study Finds – WSJ.com.
Personal Space Now Comes With a Number
Have you had your personal space invaded recently? Has someone stepped up too close to talk to you, made you feel uncomfortable so you have found yourself trying to back away?
There has been new research looking at the relationship between personal space (known as peripersonal space) and people who suffer from anxiety. Through their investigations they were able to discover that the distance that people have for their peripersonal space does vary significantly. The distances range from between 20 cm up to 40 cm.
Those people suffering with anxiety issues were found to prefer people to stand much further away from them, so their need for personal space was much greater than those without anxiety issues.
A fascinating article which concludes with how scientists will take this research forward.
Study: To The Human Brain, Me Is We
The University of Virginia has carried out research about empathy by investigating the human brain. They have evidence from their studies that our brains are wired up to connect with others so strongly that it experiences what they experience just as if it happens to us.
So how did they come to this conclusion?. Participants in the study underwent fMRI brain scans during which they were threatened with an electrical shock. The extra factor here was that while in the scanner they held the hand of a close friend or a stranger. So the threat of the electrical shock could also go to the hand holder.
Results showed that regions of the brain responsible for threat response became active under threat of shock to the self; which was expected. When researchers threatened to shock a stranger, those same brain regions showed virtually no activity. However when they threatened to shock a friend, the brain regions showed activity nearly identical to that displayed when the participant was threatened.
So people close to us really can become part of ourselves? Take some time to have a look at the article.
http://www.forbes.com/sites/daviddisalvo/2013/08/22/study-to-the-human-brain-me-is-we/
Stress and Relationships
It’s difficult to avoid stressful situations in our lives, but when we are under stress it’s how we react that matters. If you and your partner have different ways of dealing with stress it can have a significant impact on your relationship.
Jenise Harmon writing here works as a therapist and has a great deal of experience helping people who react in different ways to challenging situations. She says ‘How a couple manages stress can either break down or build up their relationship’.
She gives two great examples of real life couples which make interesting reading. Next she talks about the choices a couple have to make when faced with a stressful situation. Great suggestions and lots of ‘food for thought’.