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Losing Is Good for You

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This article may divide opinion but the author does have a point here and argues it convincingly. Ashley Merryman suggests if your child is joining a sports club this season then one question to bear in mind is;  ”which children get awards?” If the answer is ”Everybody gets a trophy” then Ashley suggests you spend time to find another program.

The author Ashley Merryman and Po Bronson  have spent years reporting on the effects of praise and rewards on children. They say the science is clear. Awards can be powerful motivators, but nonstop recognition does not inspire children to succeed. Instead, it can cause them to underachieve.

Losing Is Good for You – NYTimes.com.

Why Eye Contact Can Fail To Win People Over

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There is a general belief that if you look into someones eyes you can persuade  them over to your point of view. The more you look the more persuasive you will be.   Researchers in Germany have carried out studies to show that this may only be the case if  your audience already agrees with you. Their participants were students who were assessed on the amount of  eye contact exchanged in various scenarios.

Frances Chen lead author of the study says “Eye contact is clearly used in many situations to signal attraction, love and even agreement.” Forcing  someone to look into your eyes could backfire if you’re trying to change their opinion, Chen says. “Think about parents saying, ‘Look at me when I’m talking to you!’ ”

Look Into My Eyes. Not Persuaded? You’re Not Alone. : Shots – Health News : NPR.

Overcoming Autopilot: The Challenge of Focusing Attention

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Have you ever had the experience of driving your car somewhere, parking up and then realising that you have no idea of how you got there, no idea of the route you have taken? You have been on autopilot.

Leanne Reed challenges you to overcome this state of autopilot. To focus in on the present. To be mindful! She remarks that this is much easier to do for pleasant experiences like looking at a beautiful sunset for example but so much harder  for painful, difficult experiences or even neutral ones such as a car journey.

She says that we are constantly caught up in the current content of our thoughts and this can prevent us from being mindful; really taking notice of the present moment.

Why not take a read of her article and  have a go at her suggested experiment of following your breath. Let me know how you get on!

Overcoming Autopilot: The Challenge of Focusing Attention.

9 Ways to Boost Your Brain and Mood

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Here is a practical article to help you to boost your brain and improve your mood. The first two suggestions are a great starting point.  Get a  check up and get your medications checked. Certain  health conditions can impact on your brain and your  mood and so can certain medications.

Practical suggestions like getting enough sleep, exercising and eating well are also here but Therese puts her own spin on these with her wealth of experience behind her. Advice is also included about getting connected, even if you really don’t want to, mindfulness and de-stressing techniques. The final suggestion is to get thinking;  get your brain busy,  just reading the newspaper each day or doing a crossword puzzle regularly can be good for your brain.

9 Ways to Boost Your Brain and Mood.

The Friendship Bank

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What sort of person are you? Do you put a lot of effort into helping others without much regard to what you gain in return from them? If so you are a person with high ‘communal orientation’  and people like you have been shown in new research to be generally happier than those with low communal orientation.

However people who do give a lot of their time to help their friends do still expect to count on them; but they run the  risk  that they will not  be there when they do need a hand.

Take some time to read this  interesting article as it will really get you thinking about your relationships.

The Friendship Bank: How and Why Even the Most Giving Friend Expects Payback – WSJ.com.

Authenticity and Identity

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This article really got me thinking today.  Bob Edelstein writing for psychology today says

‘Discovering who you are in the moment modifies your already established identity.’

We have all established our identities as we grow up and we tend to think of them as static  and stable. Edelstein argues that this is not really the case at all but that our identities are subjective, fluid and chosen by us in the moment. This is because our identity changes in response to everything that happens in our lives;  good and bad.

Take a read as he includes a case study of  Bill who identified himself as a ‘nice generous person with a positive attitude.’  See what he discovered about himself and his identity with the help of therapy.

Authenticity and Identity | Psychology Today.

7 Top Habits of High Achievers

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Do you know what separates the successful from the ordinary?  Swati Chauhan thinks she does.  She says that the answer greatly lies in the habits practiced by them over and over again so much so that they become intertwined with their personality.

High achievers seem to have worked out which areas in their lives to work hard at and she gives us some pointers in the right direction.

Firstly move from procrastination to acting on things today and create opportunities for yourself. She also says that we need to follow a regime without getting bored or giving up; we need to be dedicated and disciplined.

Take a look at her article to get inspired!

http://www.theeurekalife.com/the-7-top-habits-of-high-achievers/

 

Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

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”Comparison is the thief of joy”

Do you compare yourself to others?

Do you perhaps check your social media sites and see other people who are showcasing the best of  themselves, so that you may feel envious, jealous or disappointed that your life is not so perfect as theirs?  This is comparing yourself to others. Also feeling superior or arrogance in the face of other peoples failures is  comparing yourself to others too.

Tina Williamson writing for BarefootBeginnings says that comparison is a destructive habit.

She says:

”Stop comparing, it’s the thief of joy. Just be yourself and enjoy the freedom that will come from this revelation”.

 

Stop Comparing Yourself to Others.

6 Ways to Manage Autumn Anxiety

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We had some lovely weather over the weekend with blue skies and the sun on our faces but there is still a feel of autumn in the air.  Autumn can fill some people with anxiety. Therese Bouchard says this is because  it is a season of transition into winter.

In this article she provides you with some tools to manage the rising anxiety. These include  deep breathing techniques and using a light box preferably in the morning. She says it is also important to  identify where the anxiety comes from. She explains about the area of the brain called the amygdala that is responsible for the feelings of panic and how you can take control of these feelings.

Do you know what cognitive distortions are? Why not take some time to read her article to find out and also  give some of the suggestions a try?

6 Ways to Manage Autumn Anxiety | World of Psychology.

Why Do Cheaters Cheat When The Stakes Are Low?

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Jeremy Dean pyschologist and author of psyBlog says that despite having little to gain, petty cheaters feel happier and more self-satisfied than those who follow the rules.

A study carried out by the University of Washington confirmed that the reasons people sometimes cheat even when there is little to be gained from it is because it feels good. Interestingly in their research and studies they carried out this ‘cheaters high’ was only experienced if the cheating did not directly involve someone else. In these studies participants were just cheating at numeracy and logic problems.

Why Do Cheaters Cheat When The Stakes Are Low? — PsyBlog.