Posts Tagged ‘life skills’
Want people to trust you? Try apologising for the rain
Harvard Business School and the University of Pennsylvania collaborated on this fascinating research into human behaviour and trust.
They carried out a series of field studies and laboratory experiments to look at the relationship between the act of apologising and trust. Across all the studies they identified significant benefits to apologising. Even if you are apologising for something out of your control like the rain or a late bus you can increase the trust of those around you.
Why not take a look at the article to see how they conducted their experiments, or even try it out for yourself?
BPS Research Digest: Want people to trust you? Try apologising for the rain.
Loneliness: A Temporary State or A Vulnerable Way of Life?
This article reviews a book by Guy Winch called Emotional First Aid. He writes about emotional distress caused by painful experiences including loneliness.
Guy says that loneliness most often occurs as a transient emotional state, say for example if you move to a new town, experience a loss, or as a child start a new school. In most cases this painful loneliness fades as you make new friends and join in with new things. However for some people they find themselves unable to extricate themselves from this state, and become more and more isolated, developing patterns which increase rather than reduce their loneliness.
A very moving and thought provoking article .
Loneliness: A Temporary State or A Vulnerable Way of Life? | Psychology Today.
Pain Relief Medicines reviews on top10pharma.net
23 Incredibly Empowering Quotes That Will Change Your Life
Every so often you come across a gem of a blog and here in my opinion is one such gem. Elle in her blog ‘reflectingalife.com’ talks about those times when we need to be inspired. When the negative self-talk begins to take over Elle has put together quotes to put you back on track. Elle believes repeating an empowering quote that resonates with you can be really beneficial and very effective at banishing those negative thoughts.
Take a look at the list and see which ones stand out to you. I think this might vary depending on how you are feeling today. My favourite one today is by someone unknown.
”It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not.”
6 Ways To Invest Your Time Better And Get More From Life
A great blog by Ragnar, author of a new blog tangiblefreedom.com. He begins by saying ‘ The amount of time you have is finite, but what you get out of your time has room for improvement’.
So how do you go about making good investments of your time? He has narrowed it down to a few core principles about what makes something a good investment of time. They include things that contribute to personal growth, happiness and wellbeing as well as those things that actually save us time and make us more efficient.
Take a look and let me know what you think!
6 Ways To Invest Your Time Better And Get More From Life | Tangible Freedom.
How Do You Create a Healthy Relationship?
What does a healthy relationship look like? Any ideas? Therapist Alexander Katehakis writing for psychcentral.com attempts to answer this question.
She begins by stating that in any healthy relationship whether romantic or not the individual parties remain distinct and separate from each other. Allowing the other person to grow and change but also giving room for them to make mistakes is also key. In a healthy relationship problems are resolved as each takes responsibility for their part in the difficulty and they work together to resolve the issue. This article sets out the ideal for us all to aim for. Let me know what you think!
How Do You Create a Healthy Relationship? | World of Psychology.
Staying Focused in the Face of Distractions
When out for a coffee in a noisy coffee shop I often notice people working at their laptops. I wonder how do they keep focused with all the things going on around them? It’s the same in a busy office with conversations and phone calls happening all around you as you try to meet your deadline. So what do you do? Do you try to remove all distractions and find a quiet corner somewhere?
Studies have shown that this may not actually be the best answer for staying on task. It all depends on the type and intensity of the distraction and how anxious you are.
Why not take a look at the article to find out how they came to these conclusions and let me know what you think!
Staying Focused in the Face of Distractions – Association for Psychological Science.
Take Two Steps to Self-Confidence
‘’Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained’’. Marie Curie
If you happened to watch the final episode of the IT Crowd (a comedy about a technical support group in a large company) you will have seen Moss, an awkward but endearing character, get a great tip from his boss about how to be more confident. What was it I hear you ask? ‘To wear women’s trousers’. It works for his boss so Moss gives it a try. He puts on his women’s slacks just like Superman puts on his superhero outfit in situations where more confidence is called for! It works!!
If only it could be that simple.
Let’s begin by defining the word confidence. Collins dictionary defines it simply by stating that confidence is a belief in your own abilities. This belief in your own ability can have an effect on every aspect of your life. Self- confidence shows in the way you behave, your body language, what you say and how you say it.
Self -confident people do what they believe is right, are willing to take risks and therefore stretch themselves. If they mess up they will readily admit their mistakes and learn from them. People with low self- confidence are constantly concerned by what other people think and alter their behaviour accordingly. They dislike risk and prefer to stay in their comfort zone. They will tend to cover up mistakes before anyone notices (Mindtools.com).
Do you recognise any of these thoughts or actions in yourself or any you know?
Building Self Confidence
Building self- confidence is achievable if you are determined and focused. You can approach this in two parts.
Step 1
This is all about reflection on your life so far and then thinking about where you want to aim for. What have you achieved in your life so far and what are your strengths?
What are you good at? Write it down!
Now it’s time to set a goal, this could be something in the near future or something further ahead that could have smaller goals to get there. It’s worth making this goal something specific that is realistic and achievable in a certain time frame. When thinking about your goal there are lots of things you can do to improve your confidence. A goal such as ‘be better’ isn’t going to get you very far. A goal such as ‘exercise once a week’’ or ‘sort out my wardrobe by Friday next week and buy a couple of items that flatter me’ is much more achievable. Research has shown that regular exercise and dressing better really do improve confidence!
Step 2
When you set out towards achieving your long term goal of improved confidence small successes along the way will make all the difference. Celebrating your successes will keep you thinking positively; enjoy it! If you do have failures then look at them as all part of the learning process. Don’t let them stop you from achieving your goal.
Confidence is all wrapped up with Self Esteem; how you feel about being you. If you feel you need help with confidence issues or self -esteem seeking professional help is a very good option. Here at Manchester Institute for Psychotherapy we have experienced counsellors and therapists who can help you with dealing with the confidence issues you may have and provide you with tools and strategies so you can move forward in your life. Our emphasis is on friendliness and providing a safe and warm environment. You can phone the Institute on: 0161-862-9456 to book your initial assessment or contact us via email.
Resentful? Overworked? Face These Painful Facts about Shared Work.
A great article by Gretchen Rubin of the Happiness project about sharing the workload. Is there someone in your life who you think isn’t doing their fair share of the work? Maybe it’s at home or perhaps in your work environment.
Gretchen has a few things to say about this issue. Take some time to have a read she does have some really useful ideas.The final three points are the most relevant though:
The person who cares the most will usually end up doing the task!
If you want someone else to do the task then don’t do it yourself!
Finally if someone does take over the task then don’t criticise them in the background.
Let me know what you think of her ideas…
Resentful? Overworked? Face These Painful Facts about Shared Work. « The Happiness Project.
Five ways money can buy you happiness
I’m sure you have heard the phrase ”money can’t buy happiness” and perhaps even said it yourself? Well studies by behavioural scientists Elizabeth Dunn and Michael Norton authors of “Happy Money: The Science of Smarter Spending” have shown that if spent in the right way money can actually buy you happiness.
Michelle Singletary a regular columnist for the Washington Post Pharma reviews the work and goes on to suggest five ways you can use your money to gain happiness. These include buying experiences rather than material goods and also linked to this is the idea of paying now and consuming later; paying for a holiday for example so then you have the pleasure of looking forward to it as well as the experience of the holiday itself. My favourite suggestion is ‘Invest in others’ . Take a read and see what you think!
Five ways money can buy you happiness – The Washington Post.
Why Confidence Is So Important (and How to Improve Yours)
What is confidence?
Confidence is knowing what you are good at, the value you provide and being able to convey that to others. So says Eric Ravenscraft writing for Lifehacker.
This definition matters because if you want to improve your confidence to a helpful level (rather than becoming arrogant) it’s important to know what your goal is. We all know that confidence can improve all aspects of your life from your relationships to your success in the workplace. If you need help to improve yours Eric then goes on to suggest practical things you can do to begin to work on improving your confidence.
Why not take a look?