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Keeping Emotions in Check May Not Always Benefit Psychological Health – Association for Psychological Science

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Maintaining a stiff upper lip and keeping our emotions under control is not beneficial to our mental health.  Of course for our resilience and ability to cope with the lifes ups and downs we need to be able to regulate our emotions. But a common emotion strategy called ‘cognitive reappraisal’ may actually be harmful in our daily lives.

Allison Troy a lead researcher on the project says

“For someone facing a stressful situation in which they have little control, such as a loved one’s illness, the ability to use reappraisal should be extremely helpful — changing emotions may be one of the only things that he or she can exert some control over to try to cope”.  She goes on to add that “But for someone experiencing trouble at work because of poor performance, for example, reappraisal might not be so adaptive. Reframing the situation to make it seem less negative may make that person less inclined to attempt to change the situation.”

This new research is fascinating and is well worth the read.

 

Keeping Emotions in Check May Not Always Benefit Psychological Health – Association for Psychological Science.

5 Simple Steps To Never Feel Overwhelmed Again

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Ragnar writing for Pick the Brain talks about how to go about  setting challenges for yourself without becoming totally overwhelmed in the process. He says that as you move towards your goal it is virtually impossible not to meet barriers and set -backs along the way.

His first piece of advice is different to that you will usually find in self help books.  He suggests ‘forget the big picture; allow yourself just to move forward’.  He goes on to give four other pieces of valuable advice in his no nonsense practical way.

5 Simple Steps To Never Feel Overwhelmed Again – Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

5 Traps That Keep You Lonely, And How to Avoid Them

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‘Loneliness is tricky’ says Paul Sanders writing for the thebridgemaker.com.  Paul also begins by explaining that being aware of the traps that cause loneliness is the first step of avoiding them.

The traps he describes are those such as thinking the friends you want to have are unattainable,  thinking that you are not interesting enough or that you are afraid of being disappointed again. You may also have loner habits that prevent you from socialising and making new friends. He then goes on to give you straight forward simple advice to help you tackle your loneliness. The bottom line though is;  it’s you who must  put in the effort to reap the rewards! What are you waiting for?

5 Traps That Keep You Lonely, And How to Avoid Them | The BridgeMaker.

Giving Makes Us Happy

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On this rainy, windy autumn day what could cheer you up?  Therese Bouchard writes in her blog Sanity break about how helping others and being generous with our money can actually make you happy, more contented and much less prone to stress. She quotes Mahatma Gandhi  who once said that “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”

There has been  new research to be published which  investigates for the first time how social connection helps turn generous behavior into positive feelings on the part of the donor.  Why not take a read to take your mind off the rain it may inspire you.

Giving Makes Us Happy.

Forget Your Failures, Progress Is All That Matters

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Ragnar begins ‘Failure can be overwhelming. Even perceived failure can be’.

How do you deal with failure? Does it affect you in a major way or do you have a strategy to overcome it?

Ragnar talks from personal experience and advises that we should not allow failure to skew our perspective because all that really matters is  that you have progressed towards your goal whatever that may be. So every slow move towards that goal is a move forward.

This is a great article by someone who really takes the time to think about what he is writing. Well worth the read!

Forget Your Failures, Progress Is All That Matters | Tangible Freedom.

4 Ways To Minimize Mistakes And Maximize Life

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Elle writing for her blog reflectingalife.com begins by asking; ‘Have you done things in your life that you regret?

We all have haven’t we?  The key though is in her next question when she asks have you let them go, or are they hanging on ‘like limpets’ where they spoil your day and steal your joy?

She encourages us to stop defining ourselves by our mistakes. If we release ourselves from our past and our prison of fear and doubt then we can embrace our present.

Elle gives four ways to go about this process in her wise and calm way.

4 Ways To Minimize Mistakes And Maximize Life.

Life As It Should Have Been

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If you spend a lot of your time thinking ‘If only’ then this article is a  must read. Michael Sallas acknowledges  the fact that it’s easy to get caught up in the thinking of how things could be, if only you responded differently to a situation or if others had reacted differently.

This article is all about learning to accept things as they are, letting go of this ‘If only’ thinking and embracing your present. It’s good to learn from mistakes but  move on from  them into your future  rather than dwell on them.

Life As It Should Have Been | Vantage Point Counseling Services in Dallas Dallas Counselor and Dallas Therapist.

Stop Thinking About Your Thinking!

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“You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt

Linda Esposito begins her final blog about social anxiety by quoting the above. Do you agree? She says that most people are genuinely kind and genuinely busy so they are not going to focus on you and your perceived mistakes they are too busy getting on with making their own!

One of her points has really struck me though. She remarks  that if you have allowed your mind to imprison you you will wake up one day and realise all that you have missed out on. So stop thinking about your thinking!

Social Anxiety Series: Stop Thinking About Your Thinking! (Part 4 of 4) | TalkTherapyBiz.

Loneliness; Are you one of the 48%?

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‘Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty’   Mother Teresa

According to a BBC poll published this October almost half  (48%) of all adults in England say they experience feelings of loneliness.

Mervyn Kohler a Specialist adviser to Age UK says;  ”Loneliness is on the increase for a variety of reasons, mostly because of the changing nature of society.”

Loneliness is not confined to just one sector of the population. According to the poll, 18 to 24 year olds experience it just as much as those people who are in their sixties or older. The poll discovered that if you are between 30 and 50 you are less likely to be lonely, probably because you have a houseful of children or teenagers and are busy working.

What is loneliness?

Loneliness is not the same as being alone. People do choose to be alone and live perfectly happily without a great deal of contact with others. In contrast you may see lots of people, be in a family and/or a relationship but still feel lonely.

‘Loneliness is not feeling part of the world. You might be surrounded by loads of people but…. You are (still) lonely’   Mind

Loneliness is therefore an emotional state but it can have a big impact on our mental health and our physical health too.

How long does loneliness last?

Loneliness usually is a transient emotional state. It’s something that most people experience at some point in their lives. When we have a big change in our lives like moving to a new town for example or suffer a loss such as the end of a relationship or a bereavement then we experience the pain of being cut off from people; we feel lonely. Usually those feelings of isolation and sadness recede as you begin again to participate in the world, building new relationships that relieve the feelings of loneliness.

What happens if these feelings don’t go away?

For some people the loneliness doesn’t go away; they fail to get themselves out of this state of loneliness and gradually become more and more isolated. It can become a downward spiral as the loneliness can lead to self -isolation so that the person appears to others that they do not wish to form connections. This then of course deepens the feelings of loneliness even more.

Can loneliness affect your health?

Your mental health can be significantly affected by feelings of loneliness. Studies have shown that people who are lonely experience more stress and have low self -esteem. Loneliness can contribute to mental health conditions such as anxiety and depression.   Being physically isolated can also lead to poor eating habits and having less motivation to exercise regularly.

What can you do to overcome loneliness?

The charity Mind give some great suggestions for you to try. They talk first about making contact. Connecting with the world around you can help alleviate feelings of loneliness. Small steps can help with this such as a phone call or email to someone. Having a walk and taking the time to say hello to someone or try to join in a conversation. Mind suggest that no matter how difficult make the most of opportunities for social contact.

Meeting new people and making new friends can help overcome feelings of loneliness. In most areas there are many different groups that meet and most welcome new members. They are usually advertised through local magazines and newspapers.  It can be daunting going along to something for the first time and it will usually take a few weeks to feel settled but it’s worth persevering to see what happens.

If you spend a lot of time alone then learning to feel more comfortable about this can really help. This time alone could actually be a time for you to learn a new skill or spend more time on a hobby that you enjoy. Challenge yourself to turn what you see as a negative into a positive. Your time alone is time to yourself to do something just for you.

 How can we help?

Here at Manchester Institute for Psychotherapy we have experienced counsellors and therapists who can help. Talking to a therapist can help you to deal with your feelings of loneliness and provide you with strategies that you can work on to overcome it. Our emphasis is on friendliness and providing a safe and warm environment. You can phone the Institute on: 0161-862-9456 to book your initial assessment or contact us via email.

 

 

Do any of these 7 Words Express who You are?

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What type of words could add value to your life?  Any ideas?

Life coach David Stevens talks about these special words,  words that elicit passion, drive and enthusiasm. He thinks they should always be ”at the ready”  because  they will add value to your life and allow you to express yourself.

He suggests that you try these ‘value adding’ words out to see if they help you to  express yourself.

So here  they are;  do any of them describe who you are?

Vibrant, Excited, Energetic, Purposeful, Artistic, Creative, Feeling good.

These words are like gifts; why not accept them them and enjoy!

 

Do any of these 7 Words Express who You are? | davidstevenslifecoach.com.au.